Episode 342 - What if confidence isn’t the thing holding you back? I’m sharing what I’m seeing in the job market right now, from executive presence and relatability to why being more human may be your biggest advantage in the age of AI.

I had something completely different planned for you today, but plans changed at the last minute.

So here we are with a very different episode. Rather than scramble to replace it with something overly produced, or repeat an episode, I thought I’d do something a little different. I haven’t done this for quite some time, which is to just sit here and have a chit-chat with you.

There are a few things that have been on my mind recently. I’ve been discussing them with clients, noticing them in my own work and in conversations with recruiters, and seeing them in the way people are showing up professionally. I also think our relationship with work and our career plans is changing, and I’m starting to see that shift. Maybe you are too.

None of these ideas are fully formed, and that’s probably why this is a podcast episode and not one of the YouTube videos I started doing a month or so ago. I hope you’re enjoying those. They’re much more structured, with seven-step processes to do this and four things to do that. This is not that. Today I just want to talk to you about what I’m seeing right now. No real structure. Hopefully, as I start talking about these ideas, I can think out loud and imagine that you’re here with me.

The first idea I want to discuss is this thing about being relatable, and whether being relatable can be more powerful than being confident. I’ve touched on this before in some episodes, but I’m seeing it in my own work, applying it with clients, and then seeing it reflected in their performance as well.

The second is executive presence, because I recently spoke to a room full of very experienced women in tech, and that was the issue they wanted to talk about most. That’s what the survey showed at the end of the presentation.

And the third thing is something I’ve been thinking and reading about a lot lately: this idea of the new luxury. What feels sophisticated right now? What is chic? What feels valuable to people?

Strangely enough, I think all three of these things are connected. At least, I think they are. I hope they are. So that’s why I want to talk about all of them with you today.

Something I’ve been noticing lately is that the more I stop trying to sound polished, the more you relate to me.

I am authoritative, and I’ve built my confidence over the seven or so years that I’ve been coaching. But being certain all the time, and confident all the time, in this chaotic environment we’re living in, doesn’t seem to resonate as well as being relatable.

The more relatable I am, the better people respond to me. I’ve also been working with clients on adapting that to the work they’re doing when they’re job seeking. It has made me think about something bigger that I’m seeing in careers and in the job market generally.

And I’d love to hear from you about this. If you’re a newsletter subscriber or you follow me on LinkedIn, please get back to me because I’m really curious. What are we actually responding to now? What feels credible? What feels sophisticated? What makes somebody seem senior, confident and successful today? I think some of these things are changing.

Let’s go back to relatability and this idea that being relatable may be more powerful than being confident. It’s something I’ve been noticing a lot in my own work, and I’ve been encouraging my clients to follow my lead and seeing good results for them as well.

At the beginning of the year, I made a fairly strong statement on LinkedIn that I wanted to lean much more heavily into my expertise. I’ll try to find that post and link it in the episode show notes so you can have a look. I didn’t want to shy away from what I know anymore or play around it. I wanted to be more intentional about what I shared and have stronger opinions about the things I see in careers and recruitment.

In many ways, that was me saying, from now on, you’re going to see a very confident Renata showing up in LinkedIn posts. That was very well received.

But something else has happened this year alongside that. If you’re a newsletter subscriber, you may have noticed that I’ve become more relatable and shared more of my personal experience in my newsletters. I’ve written about things that affect me personally and then connected those experiences with things I see happening with my clients.

Interestingly, the open rates for my newsletter have gone up and up. This is only a couple of weeks in, and I’m really impressed by how people have responded to it.

More people are replying to my emails to share their own situation, say thank you, or tell me the newsletter made them think. That often happens when you send newsletters to thousands of people. Some people will always reply. But I’m seeing more of it now since I made this intentional switch in the content of my newsletter. More people are reaching out to me as well, that’s for sure.

I keep coming back to this idea that being relatable beats being confident all the time. I’ve mentioned it on the podcast before. Perhaps confidence has become slightly overrated.

Not because confidence isn’t useful. Of course it is. And if you’re listening to this episode and you’re within the target audience for this podcast, you are probably very confident in many things because you have an extensive career and a lot of experience.

But I think we’ve spent years teaching professionals that credibility requires certainty. That senior people should always know what they’re doing. That you need to sound composed, polished and completely assured of yourself.

The world has changed. I’m finding that this can become less convincing because it’s hard to keep up with the amount of change around us. It’s hard to be that confident all the time about your leadership, about where you’re taking your company, your team, your project or your career.

So why are very experienced professionals suddenly questioning whether they’re still competitive?

I see incredibly accomplished people questioning themselves because they believe they should be projecting a version of confidence that doesn’t actually feel like them. Maybe you can relate to that. I know I certainly was feeling like that as well, and I had to reflect on it during the new year.

Maybe the answer isn’t becoming more confident. I keep coming back to this point: is it really confidence, or is it something else? Maybe part of the answer is becoming more comfortable with being seen as you actually are.

I’ve worked with so many very experienced professionals who have a lot of confidence in the work they do, and they still come to me saying they struggle with confidence.

This week, for example, I had a conversation with a prospective client about this. We only had 30 minutes, and she hasn’t signed up yet, but I was listening and thinking: is it really confidence? You seem like such a well-qualified professional, with important expertise and experience that is clearly transferable in the job market. I can see that. I’m sure part of the reason she reached out to me is because she’s not seeing it herself.

Sometimes it’s about being comfortable with your ambition. It’s about being comfortable with yourself. One of the things I pride myself on is helping people find that inner voice that makes them really crisp and clear when they’re talking to people.

That leads me to the second thing I wanted to talk about, which is executive presence.

Does executive presence mean you have to perform to somebody else’s expectations? I think that’s how people still tend to think about it.

This has been on my mind since I did a presentation at a women-in-tech event for U&U Recruitment. If you follow me on LinkedIn, you may have seen photos or videos from it. There were close to 70 women in the room, mostly senior executives and very experienced tech professionals.

I talked about five things that can become barriers in our careers: confidence, courage, executive presence, tall poppy syndrome and imposter syndrome.

Confidence comes up because I find that many people who come to me as prospective clients tell me that what they want is to become more confident. Then, once I start working with them, we can diagnose the issue more accurately. Often, it’s not really about confidence. They know they can do the job they’re applying for.

Sometimes it’s more about courage: applying, reaching out to people, putting yourself forward. Sometimes it’s about executive presence and how you show up in the interviews and conversations you need to have to get that job. Sometimes it’s about tall poppy syndrome, which is a very Australian thing, where you may not feel you should aim higher or be more ambitious than you’re supposed to be. And sometimes it’s imposter syndrome, where you don’t feel ready to take a job even though, rationally, you know you are capable of it.

Afterwards, U&U surveyed the attendees, and the topic most people wanted to hear more about was executive presence.

I wasn’t surprised, because I see this often. Podcast episodes about executive presence tend to resonate. We were also planning upcoming YouTube videos recently, and I can safely say there will be three or four videos just about executive presence.

I see it with clients all the time too. People know they are competent. They know their subject matter. They know their expertise. But they often wonder: do I come across as senior enough for the role I want? Do I sound strategic enough to join senior executives in their decision-making meetings? Do I have enough gravitas to aim for a job a little higher than the one I have now?

It’s about commanding the room, isn’t it? And then people start trying to imitate somebody else they’ve seen commanding the room.

I think that’s where we misunderstand what executive presence actually requires. We treat executive presence as though there is one correct way to be impressive. There isn’t.

Someone can have executive presence and be introverted and quiet. Someone can have executive presence and be very warm. Someone else can be extroverted and playful. Someone can have executive presence and say they don’t know something and still maintain credibility. Being funny is okay too.

I’ve always leaned towards the funny, “I don’t know” type of executive presence, and that served me well. I like to think people can look at my LinkedIn and see that I progressed in my career even though I played those cards in conversations and interviews.

You have to use your strengths, your character and your talents. If you’re reflective and introverted and you say wise things, that can be your executive presence. You might be an inspirational kind of leader. Someone who feels comfortable admitting that something has been difficult can show incredible strength of character and, therefore, executive presence.

To me, this is about increasing connection and self-awareness. Connection with the external audience listening to you, and self-awareness about the character strengths you possess and can use to persuade people that they want you on board. Most of the time, I’m using these techniques to help people get jobs.

So I hope you can listen to this and ask yourself: are you comfortable enough with yourself that you don’t need to manufacture a persona when you’re having those conversations?

Manufacturing a persona for yourself in job interviews is possibly one of the worst things you can do, because it will show.

And this brings me back to vulnerability and relatability.

There’s a strange contradiction here that is worth noticing. People think vulnerability might diminish executive presence, but sometimes the desperate attempt to hide vulnerability is exactly what makes someone appear less comfortable and less credible to an audience trying to assess them as a potential candidate for a job.

So how am I using this with clients privately? This is something I don’t think I’ve really discussed in podcast episodes before.

You may not need to become more polished in order to get your next job.

What you may need to do is stop fighting your natural style. You may need to trust your experience, your talents and your strengths more. You may need to allow a little more of yourself into the room.

I know this can be hard. We really don’t spend enough time getting to know ourselves in order to translate that well.

The TalentPredix strengths assessment that I use is so useful because it’s designed for this stage of people’s careers. Once we use it, it becomes much easier to start preparing for interviews, conversations and professional pitches.

It’s not only about doing a strengths assessment. It’s about allowing yourself the time to learn how to translate things that are probably normalised inside you into a way of communicating them clearly to other people.

That leads me to the third idea I wanted to talk to you about: what I’m hearing and reading about the new luxury.

The new luxury in the world right now may be not using AI. It may be slowing down and not being in a hurry.

There’s this phenomenon I’ve been noticing. You may have noticed it as well. I’m seeing it in my own business, I’m already using the idea with clients, and I’ve started talking about it on social media. I recently did an Instagram post about this trend: what’s chic? What’s kind of chic these days?

What is luxury now? What feels sophisticated right now?

And when it comes to careers, I think one of the ultimate career luxuries is having enough control over your career that you don’t panic.

When you lose a job, when you’re laid off, or when you have a terrible boss, you can say: okay, I get it. I’ll leave this job and I’ll get another one.

Being made redundant and saying, “Okay, I’m going to take a month off. I’m going to Byron Bay, Bali, Hawaii, Scotland. I’m just going to stop and think. I’m going to catch up with my friends. I’m not applying for 50 jobs straight away. I’m going to work out what I actually want.”

That is such a privilege. That is sophistication. That is chic. That is cool.

A lot of people can’t afford to do that. But there is something incredibly powerful about it.

The same applies to career decisions generally. Taking your time instead of accepting a role straight away or immediately jumping into a job application. Saying no to opportunities that aren’t aligned with your purpose or your career goals.

I recently spoke with another prospective client who applied for a job she clearly didn’t want and then became upset that she didn’t get it. I said, “But you just told me that sort of role doesn’t suit you. Why did you say yes to applying for it?”

That ability to say no is a luxury, and not everybody can afford it. Frankly, there were times in my own career when I couldn’t afford to say no to things. There were difficult periods in the Bernarde household when we simply had to chase opportunities without the luxury of thinking about career purpose.

But not chasing every opportunity is luxurious. Not trying to optimise every minute of your life by using AI to do everything for you is a luxury. Not needing immediate external validation, and being comfortable with yourself without worrying constantly about what other people think about your career, is a luxury.

There’s a calmness to it that feels chic. Maybe that calmness is becoming a status symbol of sorts.

I’ve noticed that in the way people are showing up for private coaching, for example. They could go to AI. They probably did. I think I wrote about this recently on LinkedIn as well. If you’re getting jobs using AI, good for you. I’m not seeing it with the people who reach out to me.

I’m sure many of them tried AI first. But if you think about it, everybody has access to these tools now, often for free. Everybody is doing it. There is no uniqueness in a job application if everybody is doing the same thing. There are no standout applicants if everybody is producing the same type of material.

So when everyone can automate their applications, the handmade, thoughtful application becomes more valuable. When everybody can automate opinions or recommendations, that one hour you spend with your coach becomes more valuable.

We also know that the brain learns more when we slow down the learning process. I think that’s one of the reasons people find career coaching so transformative.

AI makes this even more interesting, because almost everybody now has access to tools that can write for them. They can write their CVs. They can write cover letters. We see so many LinkedIn posts written by AI. The comment sections of LinkedIn posts are full of AI-generated content.

We were discussing this recently during a meeting with my YouTube team while planning the next videos. One of the episodes will be about the fact that so much content is now bot-generated. People simply aren’t taking the time.

So if everything you do, everything you say, every email you send and every interview answer you provide is created with AI, what becomes luxurious? What becomes unique?

The scarce thing is now the human input.

Taking the time to write something yourself starts to feel different for you, and it starts to feel different for the person reading it. Having an actual conversation with somebody becomes more valuable. Sitting with an idea becomes more valuable. Taking your time becomes more valuable.

I also see this in culture, and you’ve probably noticed it too. People are buying physical books. Bookstores are doing well. People want to listen to records and buy vinyl. Cassette tapes, for God’s sake. I’ve seen companies releasing cassette tapes again, and they’re expensive. People are buying old cameras and taking photos with film. They’re going to the cinema. They’re choosing to do something slowly when they could have done it instantly.

I’m assuming many of you listening to this podcast are Gen X, but look a few generations younger than us. That’s what they’re doing. My son has a friend who is a DJ, and she’s very proud of only using vinyl records when she DJs. And I’m thinking, okay, there really is something going on here.

I think there’s a cultural shift happening around us, and maybe you’re noticing it too. It’s also changing our professional goals.

Do we really want to be ambitious enough to reach C-suite roles? Or do we prefer flexibility and a portfolio career? Many of my clients are now seeking that.

That is the new luxury. It’s time. It’s flexibility. It’s travel. Thinking for yourself. Reading for yourself. Knowing yourself. Taking your time. Speaking in your own words. Having real conversations with another human being.

My coaching business has never done so well, and I think this may partly explain something you might also be seeing in your own job search, in your changing ambitions, in the way you’re positioning yourself in the world, and in the choices you’re making.

You and everybody else now have extraordinary access to information. You can ask AI almost any question. There are so many free resources out there, and this podcast is one of them.

There is no shortage of information. And yet people are still choosing to sit down with me for an hour and talk, or deliberately bring more slowness into their lives.

I don’t think they’re necessarily paying for information, because information is freely available. What they’re paying for is attention, perspective and judgement. A conversation that is entirely about them.

They’re paying for somebody who remembers what they said three weeks ago or two weeks ago and notices that today they’re saying something different.

I know that because it’s increasingly how I spend my own money as well. That’s how I invest my own hard-earned money. When I value something, I want access to someone who has thought deeply about it. That feels increasingly luxurious to me.

So, are these ideas connected or completely ad hoc? You tell me.

I think these things have been on my mind and have started to weave themselves into each other: relatability, executive presence, slowing down, human expertise, doing things in your own words.

To me, they all point towards the same thing.

We’re living in a world where it has become incredibly easy to manufacture polish. Perhaps we’re becoming more interested in what feels real instead.

And for those of us who are experienced professionals, particularly people around my age, in our 40s, 50s and 60s, I think there’s something quite liberating about that. But there may also be something we need to unlearn.

You don’t necessarily need to reinvent yourself into some shiny new persona to get a job. Perhaps the work is about becoming more of yourself in those conversations, becoming more comfortable with your experience, being more deliberate about how you spend your time during transition periods, and being more selective about what deserves your attention.

And hopefully, being willing to let people see that you are the human being behind your CV, your LinkedIn profile and your job title.

I hope I’ve given you a few things to think about over the coming days.

There are now more than 300 episodes of The Job Hunting Podcast for you to listen to. I’m going to make a few suggestions in the episode show notes based on today’s topics, including other episodes that align with some of these ideas.

I’d also love for you to check out some of my YouTube videos, which I’ve created specifically for senior managers. I’ll put a link to my YouTube channel below as well if you haven’t checked it out. You’ll find the podcast episodes there, alongside videos designed specifically for YouTube.

That’s all I have to say today. I’m actually glad there was a change of plans and that I don’t have a podcast guest to introduce to you, because it gave us an opportunity to have a quick chat and for me to get a few things off my chest.

Thanks for joining me. If you’re still here, subscribe to my newsletter, and I’ll see you next time. Bye.