Episode 337 - Job searching can test even the most experienced professionals. In this episode, I reflect on Sabalenka’s emotional loss at Roland Garros and explain why job seekers need to move from emotional reaction to strategic response after rejection, redundancy, long job searches, interviews, and career setbacks.

Today’s episode is something that is hard to talk about, but very important: the emotional side of job searching. The part that happens after the rejection email, after the interview that did not go well, after the restructure conversation, after the redundancy meeting, and after months of applying for roles and hearing nothing back, being told that you are overqualified.

Being told that you are not quite right for the role. Being told nothing at all. Because job searching is not only a tactical process, it’s not only about your CV, your LinkedIn profile, your interview technique or networking strategy. It’s a mental game. And if your mindset collapses during that job search, your strategy often collapses with it. Are you ready for this conversation? Let’s go.

I want to start with a story. I was speaking with my father after we watched the ⁓ Roland Garros match with Arina Sabalenka. If you are watching this much later, this happened in June 2026. And she lost a match that many people expected her to win. And after the match, she was visibly devastated. And this is how it

happened after losing that match at Roland Garros 2026 quarterfinals to somebody that was not as well qualified as she is, ⁓ Diana Schneider, she’s number 25, Sabalenka said she felt like she wanted to quit tennis.

Reuters described her performance on court as a mental collapse because she had been leading before losing the game, and her response during that post-match interview was human, right? It was raw, it was emotional.

And it was the kind of moment that I think many of you relate, but you don’t usually see from elite athletes, because we expect them to be composed in those interviews. We expect them to be resilient, to say graceful things and analyze quickly and reset and move on. That’s what we expect from those interviews. But of course, these people are human just like you and me. And my father said something that I thought was really insightful. He said,

She has the genetics of an excellent tennis player. She has the strength and the skills, but in moments like this, what gets tested is the mindset, and she needs a better coach. I loved it because, of course, my dad knows I’m a coach, and it was kind of a bonding moment for me at least, and

I felt like that was an acknowledgement that he understands the value of my work and it felt really good. And I thought about that for a few days and decided to record this episode because I see this in my work every day. Not with tennis players, ⁓ but with job seekers, with executives, senior managers, people just like you who are listening to the podcast, you know, people who has a lot of experience. And when they start working with me.

They are, of course, extremely smart, experienced, capable, well qualified, and accomplished. They have led teams, they have managed budgets, presented to boards and and their peers, worked through crisis and delivered very successful projects. And yet, yet, when they job search, it becomes really difficult. They can fall into the same emotional trap as Sabalenka.

They start to question everything, they question their value, they question their experience, their ability to move forward and get another job. They question whether they are too old, ⁓ too senior, too expensive for the job market, too niche, or too much of a generalist.

Is it too late? ⁓ am I too tired for this? Am I behind? all of those questions are very common at the beginning of a coaching ⁓ conversation. And in those moments.

The risk is not only that they feel bad about what’s going on with with them, the risk is that they make decisions from that place, from that mindset. If they apply for roles that they don’t want, you know, if they withdraw from opportunities too early, if they start sending reactive messages to their connections or over explaining what happened to their careers.

Some of them have stopped networking.

Right, you may relate to all of this, ⁓ rewriting your CV or your resume several times trying to get it right, and convincing themselves that one rejection means something is permanent, permanently wrong with them. They turn a bad week into a career verdict. And this is why mindset matters, because your emotional reaction may be valid and human, but it does not have to be

Your strategy. That is the idea I want to explore in today’s episode. I want to talk about the moments where job seekers move from confidence to panic and what needs to happen to bring them back into a more strategic tactical mindset. And I’m going to share

Anonymized examples from my coaching work because these patterns come up again and again with different clients in different sectors in different parts of the world, because I coach people ⁓ worldwide, different levels of seniority as well. But often the same emotional process during the job search.

The client usually seeks out coaching as a last resort, which I don’t recommend and I wish they wouldn’t, but alas, it’s what usually happens. They come to me usually in a state of stress and disappointment and fear and exhaustion after, you know, a longer search than they were envisioning, and then they figure out that they, you know, the coaching will will support them and help them. And the coaching work is to help them move on from

What does this mean about me? You know, what’s going on? To ⁓ you know, what to what do I do next? You know, that shift sounds simple, but in a job search it can change everything.

So let’s start with redundancy. I have worked with clients who have been made redundant after many years in the same organization, sometimes 10, 15, 20 years.

And when that happens, the first reaction is rarely strategic. It’s usually really emotional. Of course it is. I’ve been there too. I remember how emotional I became. When your professional identity that has been attached to the organization you work for is is cut.

Redundancy can feel really deeply personal, even when you know intellectually that it is a business decision, even when you know that the organization is restructuring, even when you know that other other people have been affected by this as well, you can still feel like a rejection about you, about your contribution or your loyalty, your relevance to the team, and your future.

And in that emotional state, people often want to solve things immediately. They want to fix their CV, update their LinkedIn, apply for jobs, call recruiters, explain what happened, and make that fear go away by hopefully getting something really quickly immediately afterwards. But sometimes the first job

after a conversation like that is not to act at all. The first job is to stabilize, stabilize your emotions. Because if you act from that panic mode, your decisions may become scattered. You may apply for the wrong roles.

you may undersell yourself or over explain the redundancy without needing to. You may rush into a job that is not right for you. And so in those circumstances the work begins with separating the emotion from your next decision. Yes it hurts. Yes is destabilizing and and this may bring up some fear and I I expect that that that will happen.

And and that’s all true, but what needs to happen next in your career? What do we need to protect your career? What do we need to negotiate as you exit the organization? And what does the market need to understand about you? What is the story that we want to tell them? That is the shift.

Why is this happening to me? what do I need to do next? Right? Can be sources of negativity and grief. And grieving that loss is important, but you still need to act strategically as you move forward. So those things can exist at the same time and they will probably exist at the same time during a job search.

Another pattern that I see is the client who has had a difficult conversation at work and then spiral afterwards. This might happen during a restructure or after a performance conversation, after a disagreement with a manager, after being offered a role they they don’t want.

I’ve had clients come to me after one conversation and say, I think I’ve ruined everything. I should not have said that. What if they think I’m difficult? What if I’ve damaged a relationship? Maybe I have no options now. And by the time we speak, they have replayed that conversation in their minds so many times.

th that we need to sort of pause that, right? We need to to sort of stop the rumination. When you feel that your future is uncertain, your brain wants to regain control by replaying that moment. But replaying is not strategic. At some point we need to stop analyzing the emotional discomfort and start asking better questions. That’s when you know having a mentor or

coach can really really help what actually happened okay let’s think more objectively about what actually happened what do we know for sure what are we assuming people are thinking or and what is still within your control ⁓ do you need to clarify anything with anybody does a follow-up message needs to be sent right and what is the tone

How how do we want to come across? What options do we need to keep open?

Because you cannot always undo a conversation, but you can decide what your next move communicates, right? So that’s often where your power is. Not in trying to erase what happens that’s out of your control, but in responding from now on with clarity, professionalism, and intention. That is what moves someone from emotional crisis to a tactical action.

The third example is rejection. After a high stakes opportunity

I have worked with clients, this is very common, who have reached the final stages for very senior roles. We’re talking C level, executive roles, board roles, roles that they care deeply about, that they were prepared for, that they have researched and, you know, really invested in their interview process. They imagine themselves in the job. You have to do that to actually be good at your interview.

They told a few people they trusted, you know, that they were applying for the role. So they were really invested emotionally and then they did not get the job. That kind of rejection hits really hard. I remember, I’ve been there too. Because at that level, it’s not just about the job. It can feel like a judgment on your leadership, on your career, on your reputation, your age, your relevance.

And this is where the story people tell themselves becomes very important. Right? So you can tell the story that you failed, I failed, right? Or you can tell the story that you reached the final stage of a very significant role and now I need to learn from this process.

Those are two stories created by very different behaviors and mindsets. The first one leads to shame, to withdrawal, to anger, and the second one leads to reflection and refinement and continuous improvement. And I’m not saying the disappointment will disappear if you opt for the second one. It doesn’t, it will still hurt.

But rejection at senior levels is not always evidence that you performed badly. Sometimes there was an internal candidate. Sometimes the board wanted a different profile. Sometimes the organization changed directions once they started interviewing people. And the chemistry wasn’t right, which happens.

⁓ another candidate had a specific piece of experience that was highly valued by the organization. Or the process was flawed, right? Biased and and that you cannot control that. You did not interview as well as you could have. Sometimes it happens, you know, something happened during the process.

⁓ of recruitment, maybe something personal, something per something you know outside of of your control, but still it ⁓ changed your ability to perform well in the interview. And if that was the case, we learn from it, but we do not turn one outcome into a veredict of your entire career. That is where I often intervene as a coach with my clients, and I want them to ask.

about what that process revealed. What what was the positioning right for you? Was the examples you used strong enough? Usually I ask my clients to come with detailed information about what happened in the room. I asked them to sit down and write everything down so that when we have our session post interview we can go through the interview process, you know, in in detail.

in the same way a tennis coach would go through a tennis match analyzing every move and every detail. That’s how you become better at what you do. I explained to my client this week that she’s already eighty percent there. The twenty percent to get you to the top of a recruitment process requires

⁓ sophisticated tweaks in her strategy, right? So those interventions and those conversations with coaches are what can really help achieve that that successful outcome. Questions like did the interview answers that you gave showed the right level of leadership? Did the client communicate impact or just experience?

was the role actually aligned with your your background? Should we continue pursuing this type of opportunity or should we move to a different type of industry, sector, ⁓ and position?

What needs to be sharper next time. That’s how we do continuous improvement in job search. That is how you turn rejection into data. Not because you are pretending not to care, but because caring without reflection can become that negative rumination. And rumination does not move your career forward.

The fourth example I want to discuss is performance management or a formal feedback that you may have received. This is one of the most emotionally loaded situations a professional can face. I know that for me that has always been

quite difficult to swallow because it often touches, you know, reputation, identity, fairness, power and fear. And also because many people don’t know how to provide feedback and manage that conversation well.

As a manager, I know that that’s something that I tried really hard to do for my my employees. A client may come to a coaching session with me after receiving ⁓ a negative or constructive feedback from their manager or their organization and they really feel misunderstood, targeted, embarrassed, angry sometimes, ⁓ and even ashamed.

And they are afraid that their career is being damaged in real time, right? It’s hard for them to move forward from that conversation.

⁓ there is this feeling most of the time that you need to quickly resolve it, you know, sending a an an email and gathering evidence or challenging every point made. Sometimes the process is unfair. Okay? Sometimes the feedback is poorly given or poorly framed. Sometimes the organization doesn’t really get what you’re trying to achieve or do. And

Sometimes there is politics involved as well. But even then, the first move cannot be panic. The first move has to be clarity. What exactly has been said? What is the evidence? What is the opinion? What is being formally requested from you? Okay. What does the organization expect from you now? What should be documented? This is really important.

Is there anything that you really feel you need to challenge? Or should we move to accept it? Right? do we need legal or HR advice? Sometimes we need to go there. And where is the professional risk? Where is the opportunity to reset?

So those are conversations that we have in in in a coaching session and and when people feel attacked they often want to respond from that nervous system, but performance situations require discipline and it’s usually a marathon, not a sprint, the the way that you go back to

To addressing it in creating a process that moves you from a situation like that to ⁓ a situation more under your control. It requires careful communication. It requires role clarity. It requires knowing when to speak and when to pause. And

Sometimes preparing an exit strategy while still performing professionally at the organization. And that is not easy. But it’s important. Because when you are under pressure at work, your next communication really does matter. The tone, the evidence, timing, your ability to self-regulate may affect the outcome of the situation.

The next example, and the most common for me as a career coach, is the long job search. This is one of the hardest situations because it really wears people down, and I’m seeing a lot of it, especially ⁓ in the past couple of years. At the beginning, a job seeker feels very optimistic, they update their resumes, they apply for roles, they speak to people, they tell their network, and they think it will take a few months. And sometimes it does.

But most times it takes longer, right? We’re usually optimistic about the time frame of our job search. And for my type of clients, usually they’re very experienced, you know, in their forties, fifties, and sixties, that usually takes longer. Because if they’re in a managerial position or an executive position, the higher up you are in the

Pyramid of an organization, the less roles it exit is is in the organization available to you, and the turnover is usually not that great, especially when the job market is tight. So we’re talking here about longer, longer job searches, six months, nine months, twelve months, or more. They are common these days, and they have been common for a while, especially for executives. And after a while,

the emotional weight becomes really high and really heavy. A person can start to feel invisible, right? Because they have have been out of the workplace for for quite some time. And they start to wonder if anyone is actually paying attention to them, reading their job applications. They start to compare themselves with others a lot, especially in this linked in age, and they start to feel embarrassed, right? And also one thing that really

affects people of course is the financial pressure. So that really affects confidence and can really wear people down over time. And when a client is in that place, I can’t just tell them to keep going. That is not that’s not helpful and it’s not enough. ⁓ Keep going

means just keep repeating what you’re doing, keep doing the same process and you know, there’s something there that as a coach I need to help them ⁓ undo. You know, there’s a bottleneck somewhere there. ⁓ because even though it is a long search and it is harder to get a job, as I explained, some people are getting jobs, right? So we need to find out what it is that we need to do to be top tier as a candidate.

In a long job search, the important thing we need to do is diagnose the system that you are using. Where is your bottleneck? Is the client, you know, my client applying for the right roles? Is the position clear? Is the CV strong enough? And the LinkedIn profile, is it supporting that job search?

Are they relying too much on advertised roles and not enough in networking? Are they speaking to the right recruiters? You know, are they recruiters that can actually help them? Or are they speaking to recruiters at all? You know, many people aren’t even able to do that. Activating the right networks. maybe they’re getting interviews, but then they’re not converting to job offers. So

we need to sort of look into that. ⁓ are they avoiding conversations? Some people tend to do that after a while. or targeting a market that’s too wide or sometimes too narrow. And being exhausted they might be sending low quality job applications and that’s a real issue as well.

So yes, we’re looking at that job search strategy and how sustainable it is. This is where emotional support and strategy have to work together because a long job search affects people’s confidence and confidence affects people’s behavior, and behavior affects outcome. Outcome comes from behavior. When somebody is exhausted, they may not be you know

as confident and and behaving as well as they should be ⁓ to compete in a very ⁓ tight market. ⁓ and that is a problem. You know, going for a job interview sounding flat is a big issue and very common, you know, in a long

job search process. They they may start applying to anything, right? And they may lose their ability to explain themselves clearly because they’re sort of redoing their pitch over and over again and they may become less tactical. And I’m talking from experience from my clients, I hope that

that is resonating with the podcast audience. I would love to hear back from you. If you get my newsletter and and ⁓ you could reply back to me and say, wow yes, that really resonated with me, that would be fantastic because I I usually see my clientele as a small, like a pocket of, you know, the wider audience for this podcast.

So, you know, for many professionals, yes, it is a long job search campaign and and long job search campaigns as with any long campaign of any kind, ⁓ any project, it requires pacing. It requires taking time off and it requires resetting from time to time.

Now let’s talk about a career change. This is where clients start to imagine a different kind of professional life for themselves. Sometimes it happens during the coaching process when they start working with me and then they realize that what they really want to do is something different. Sometimes they come to me because they already know they want to do a career change.

Maybe they want to do consulting, maybe it’s a portfolio career or board roles or fractional work, or they want to move sectors and countries or want more flexibility, work remotely. There’s so many different reasons why somebody might sort of come to work with me.

And often there is a tension there because in one side they they want something new and on the other side there’s security in what they are currently doing. So for example, they like the idea of consulting but they are frightened by n not being able to do client acquisition, for example. They like the idea of portfolio work, but they worry about the inconsistent income.

board roles, you know, because I work with a lot of experienced people, many people think that board roles are a great way to sort of ⁓ move as they get older and start sort of considering pre-retirement opportunities, but they are not sure how to position themselves to get those roles. And

The change may also affect their status quo, right? If they want something new, they might sort of have to move out of their current network, and and that is something that can be quite a a source of anxiety for for many of my clients. And this is where, again, mindset matters because a career pivot should not be treated as a a fantasy. It should be treated

as something that you design and experiment with. You do not need to blow up your career to explore a new direction, right? There is opportunity. Most of the time there is opportunity to test.

to do research, to have conversations, to map your transferable value and understand this new market so that you can identify the risks and and build, you know, ⁓ a strategy that

Is strengthened by that positioning. So you can decide the sort of financial runway that you need in start exploring, let’s say, advisory work or consulting work or contract work. And the question usually doesn’t need to be should I jump from one to the other, but what experiment would help me learn whether this is a viable path?

Right? That’s a much calmer way of doing a career transition and one that I usually ⁓ like to discuss with my clients. It gives the brain something practical to work with. ⁓ some people call it a side hustle or a project or even a hobby. And for experienced professionals.

This is really important because by mid-career and beyond, you may not want to do many random moves anymore. You may want to have more certainty about your next chapter and be more intentional.

And that intention requires information. And information comes from from taking action. You know, it doesn’t need to be a big one. It can be small strategic actions that are not panic driven, that are not romanticized. yeah, I think that that is the most important thing to consider when doing a career change.

And this brings me back to the tennis story from the beginning. When an elite athlete loses, especially in high-pressure matches like the Roland Garros the technical skills is only part of the story. The training matters, talent matters, the mental reset matters. And

They can return to training and analyze what happened and recover and separate one loss from their identity. They can face the next match as they often do with that mindset. And the same is true for job search. You have the experience, you have the skills, you have the qualifications, you have great background. But if every setback in a job search sends you into an emotional collapse,

then the job search becomes much harder to do ⁓ and much harder than it needs to be. Okay? Yes, you’re human.

And job search is one of the few professional experiences where people are repeatedly judged, rejected, ignored, compared, and so on. That is very emotionally demanding. And the answer is not to pretend it doesn’t hurt. The answer is to build a process that helps you recover faster from the hurt. You need people around you who can help you think clearly, who can

Help your routine and support your energy. You need a strategy that is not dependent on your mood. That’s important. And you need to know when to pause and when to act and separate your value from the outcomes of this process.

And like my dad said, you may need a coach or a better coach. And I’d be happy to have a discovery call with you so you can assess if I’m the type of coach you need. You can find out more about booking a coaching introductory session with me and all of my other career services and courses on my website.

My website is renatabernarde dot com. That’s r-e-n a t a b e r n a r d e dot com.

Because look, your career is too valuable to be directed by one bad day, one bad interview, one bad meeting, or a disappointing rejection email. You need a mindset that can hold that disappointment without losing your strategy. That is the work. So

Here’s what I want you to take away from today’s episode. When something difficult happens in your job search, do not immediately ask what does this say about me. Don’t do that. Ask what does this tell me? Then ask, what do I do next? That is the shift from identity to information, from panic to strategy, from reaction to

to response. And if you need a simple phrase to remake to remember this, let it be your emotional reaction may be valid, but it does not have to be your strategy.

And thank you so much for listening to the Job Hunting Podcast. This episode was an important one for me. I hope it resonated with you. You can find more resources, coaching options, and career support.

at RenataBernarde.com so please go there and check it out. And if you know someone who is in the middle of a difficult job search, send them this episode. It may help them as well. They me they may need a reminder from you that setbacks don’t define people. I’ll see you next time. Bye.