Transcript 119. How to escape from your job search and not feel guilty.
Click here to see the episode show notes.
[00:00:00] Renata: Hello, everyone. Today, we're going to discuss how to escape from your job search and not feel guilty. If you feel guilty for taking time off, or if you believe you can speed up your success and achieve your career goals by speeding through life. This episode is for you. We're going to discuss the importance of taking time out.
[00:00:23] And why it's not only beneficial for your health. It can actually be a loss. The reason you succeed, go figure. But before we begin, I'd like to invite you to my free masterclass. If you're keen to move into a fulfilling job in 2022, where you feel valued and productive, if you're feeling stuck and I'm focused and I'm sure of how to move forward with your job search.
[00:00:47] I'd like to invite you to attend my first 2022 free job hunting masterclass. Now I only teach the job hunting masterclass twice per year. So it will be a few months. If before I do another one. The format is a zoom webinar. It's a live event on the first and 2nd of February. Now I've decided to make it available on demand for a week after that. So if you're listening to this and you think, oh, I've just missed out.
[00:01:18] If it's prior to the 10th of February. You will be able to go to the link in the show notes or to my website. We're not a bernardi.com and you will be able to find it available on demand for a week after the first and the second of fab. When I'm recording it live, there are two options there for you to choose from.
[00:01:38] And if the time doesn't suit you, because you could be listening to this podcasts all around the world. I think we have over 55 countries now listening to the job hunting podcast. So let's say it's in the middle of the night for you or the middle of your working day. Register anyway, so you can, so I can send you the recording, which will be available as I said for about a week after the live events. So up until the 10th of February.
[00:02:05] But still that's better than nothing. I'm reserving 90 minutes for the masterclass to go through my predictions for job hunting and recruitment in 2022 and beyond. Sharing with you. My analysis and my systems. I don't know how I coach client leaving plenty of time for questions at the end. So that's the benefit of doing it live.
[00:02:27] You can ask me on the day or when you register, I will be inviting, uh, people that have registered to send me questions in advance. So I'm in fact, all that's on my to-do list. I need to do that tomorrow. Um, send an email out to, uh, ask people if they have any questions that they would like to send in advance. So please register now.
[00:02:48] As this is, like I said, the limited opportunity. In fact, I, um, really don't want to do another masterclass until maybe August 20, 22. So, yes, I hope to see as many of you there as possible. There's a link. Uh, to the registration in the show notes. Or you can go to my website. Renatta bonati.com. That's R E N a T a B E R N a R D e.com.
[00:03:18] Yeah. So Domenico DiMasi is a professor of laborer sociology at LA Sapienza. Enza university in Rome. He founded the school of specialization in organizational sciences. And he has written many, many books and articles and taught classes about country cultures, economic systems, such as socialism and capitalism and how we are influenced by our religious beliefs, ideological philosophies, like Illumina ism.
[00:03:49] And liberalism. In the post industrial world that we live in. DiMasi his goal is to help us own Colver the best future for our society. Where progress is measured by the quality of life and happiness we live. He coined the term creative boredom. Osseo Kriya TiVo in a book by the same name that unfortunately it hasn't been translated to English. As far as I can tell, I could not find, uh, a copy in English. I read it many, many years ago.
[00:04:25] Decades ago. In Portuguese. My mother introduced me to this book. She loved it. She made me read it and it was hugely influential for both of us. Um, I have. I have seen others. Translate about. I have seen others write about and translate. Creative boredom as creative idleness or creative leisure. I believe the right translation. The most literal is creative boredom.
[00:04:56] However, I think people push away from it because we're just not very comfortable with boredom and being unproductive. So these other translations, when people are analyzing and referring to the mozzies work, I think it's more palatable and that's why I see that written more often than creative boredom.
[00:05:18] I think we just need to embrace what he actually means. Uh, in English, I can only find the work. Uh, on productive escapism, uh, sort of the closer, um, sort of philosophy and explanation. And the most, most likely, um, In English, I could only find articles and, uh, research on productive escapism. And it seemed to me as the closest thing to the ma Domenico's.
[00:05:52] Creative board. And, but I find the choice of words, productive escape. Isn't a bit jarring. I still, if it makes you and other people take notice and adopt time out as part of their. Uh, Dady lives. It's a big, big Wayne.
[00:06:12] The white space that creative boredom creates gives us such great benefits. On writing for the BBC on creative boredom during COVID. Claire Thorpe stated boredom is not in itself. Creative. It's what it leads to. That is important. And that's exactly the point. That is why I love boredom. And I insist my clients seek it out during their days. And as part of their schedules,
[00:06:43] The writer, Joseph Conrad once said, how can I explain to my wife that when I look outside the window, I am working. And that is such a beautiful way of putting it. Because ideally we shouldn't have to explain why we need time to just be, to just look. But we often feel the need to explain our idleness.
[00:07:08] Since we're not producing anything.
[00:07:12] The Mazi introduced me to create a boredom meditation, leisure, and the love and appreciation of art and beauty. Which coincidentally is my top character strengths in the via strengths. Test the art and appreciation the, um, Appreciation of art and beauty is my top strength and I'm really proud of it.
[00:07:32] Maybe he didn't introduced it to me exactly. But he made me feel okay. About the fact that I wasn't and will never be an old systems goal kind of person. I have many loves and many passions, and I need that creativity. That time in my life. That is not work-related. I believe it enriches my work. I spent the last two months, December and January insisting my clients take proper timeout, proper holidays.
[00:08:06] Many of them. Didn't. And they, if they did, they didn't take us much as they should, or could they promise me that they would do homework, which is part of our coaching agreement. But they didn't and now they feel bad about it. Whereas I don't. So it's really own it's it's old in their heads. You know, the fact that they should be using their timeout time, are they our way on a holidays?
[00:08:34] With their family to do things that have to do with their job search and their career planning.
[00:08:42] When clients first start working with me many, want to bring forward their coaching sessions. We usually, I usually try to space them out every 10 days or, or two weeks. And when they, when they insist and I say, okay, Then they realize that the methodology that I have created has a cadence of work.
[00:09:05] And is the reason why it's so successful. So bringing the sessions forward is not going to bring the career success forward. We really need to make the time and be with the rhythm. To understand more about ourselves and let some of the strategies, behaviors, routines, and, um, plans that we are adopting to sink in and crystallize.
[00:09:33] There's no point in bringing forward the sessions. That's what I'm trying to say. It's not going to make anybody more successful. In speeding up their results.
[00:09:45] According to the Mazi. It's important to take the following advice and, and incorporate some of these, um, Uh, strategies that I'm going to mention next to have a fulfilling life. First of all. And I think it's a really important one to understand. And remember that DiMasi wrote this way before social media.
[00:10:09] But he said not all breaks are truly productive. Now, you may know where I'm going with this specialty these days. You know, there's a famous YouTube predictivity group who has millions and millions of followers. And not once, not twice, but many times I've watched his video on YouTube. And he has mentioned that he takes work to the loo and I find that so hilarious. The fact that he's comfortable talking about it.
[00:10:37] But I believe we truly, truly need a break from screens, right. So, and, and I think that also there's of course, so many people that have already. Wrote or said or done. Amazing documentaries about this, you know, how. Um, much of a doc. Whole, it can be to be on social media and for job hunters, it can be the, um, uh, the job.
[00:11:06] Marketplace. So if you're looking for work and you're on a website where jobs are advertised, it's normally now LinkedIn jobs. You can just sit there for forever looking at those job ads and not make any decisions or move forward with your career plans.
[00:11:25] So not all breaks are truly productive when taking a break, take a proper break. And we're going to talk about some, some ideas in, in a few minutes. The second strategy that I've learned from DiMasi is don't trust your brain to hold information. And I say this often I'm, if you've been listening to this podcast, you will have heard this before.
[00:11:50] Your brain is not there to hold on to information. And that is why it can be so overwhelming to start looking for a job or do anything big or life changing in your life. Not just career wise. It's because we're often thinking about things in your head and we never downloaded. So the brain is not for storage. It's a creative, Oregon. It dreams, it creates plans. You need to download it often. So writing it down, that's part of the coaching that I do. And I have a specific way of, of working with clients on that, both in the group coaching and in the private, um, coaching.
[00:12:33] It's really important to have note pads I have now. For many years now adopted making notes on my phone and they are linked to my fast mail. Uh, service. So I have the notes. Here next to my inbox and my calendar. You know, when I take those notes on my phone, I also sometimes do audio messages when I'm walking.
[00:12:57] Um, and I send them to myself and I listen to them later. It's usually ideas for podcasts, to be honest. Um, The third thing that the math that I've learned from the Lassie is a long breaks are useless. If you don't take short breaks. I don't know if that makes sense to use. I'm going to, uh, say it again.
[00:13:20] Uh, long breaks. Are not going to help you. If you don't take short breaks, often and short breaks are breaks during the day breaks during the week. You know, At long weekend every now and then these are really important for you to reset and refresh your brain and give your brain a break. Having proper weekends, having proper evenings.
[00:13:44] I have mentioned before, how many people save dozens and dozens of days of leave only to have a mental break down or, you know, a serious health issue because they never take short breaks. You know, before the pandemic or even some of you are still doing this. Uh, eating at your desks was so common.
[00:14:05] Now, some of us may be working way longer hours at home because we feel guilty and we're interrupted by kids or. Things that happen at home and we feel like we need to deliver. They're also way more, um, high priorities and urgent issues coming to executives, working from home because of lockdowns beef, because of pandemics.
[00:14:30] And we're all. We all seem to be working longer hours.
[00:14:35] And the last thing that I learned from DiMasi is that it it's, it's so important to relax and try something new. So this is more than just stopping work. Like he said, not all breaks are truly productive. So. What are some ideas of, um, escapism that are. Great for you that are great for your brain will reenergize you and rest your brain from work and the job hunting or career planning that you're doing.
[00:15:08] Reading a book is great, but not a nonfiction self-help management books. Those are not so great. Fiction books are the best because you will just immerse yourself in a completely different story. And go to a different place altogether. So if you love. Reading. That is the best thing for you. I'm now reading Wolf hall.
[00:15:33] Which is a book that I've always wanted to read. And coincidentally, I was going to the beach one day and somebody put a bookstore next to, um, Um, the, the beach entrance where I was going through and they had Wolf holiday or so they were giving away these books and I'm like, oh, thank you. Thank you universe for.
[00:15:53] But in this book in front of me, I've always wanted it. So that is my escape is at the moment. Listening to music is also great. It works really great for me. Um, I usually listen to jazz or classical music when I want to escape. I find that. Popular music. Is it's too loud for me and I want to sing and I went, you know, I, it doesn't rest my brain. Um, so I'm listening to a lot of jazz lately. We just did a long drive. My husband and I from my son's house.
[00:16:31] Back home. And we were listening to Ray Charles all the way and John Coltrane, and it was really lovely and restful. Exercising is great for some, for me exercising that works for me is swimming. And, um, sometimes yoga. When I walk, I still work in my mind and that doesn't really help me unless I'm walking, walking with someone.
[00:16:59] And team sports I assume is probably very good. I just don't do any. So you tell me, I'd love to hear from you. If exercising helps you unwind for me, swimming works like a trait. Meditating. If you're not used to it. Um, try guided meditation. First, I've spoken about it many times. There are great apps that can help you.
[00:17:21] I love Headspace. I also use mind-set and Nervar for hypnotherapy. And I find it really, really good and they work great for me. Dancing. It can be awkward, especially if you're in lockdown low, then dancing around at home. But it's so important and you know, the movement of mind and body with song.
[00:17:46] Uh, can really put yourself in a completely different space. I have given myself as a 50th. Um, Uh, birthday gift for, for me a mini trampoline, and I'm really keen to start using it. I haven't unpacked it yet. Has only just arrived. If you have one or you use one, let me know. If I've done, um, a good thing in buying one for me.
[00:18:11] But I think that this idea of movement, um, with the mini trampoline, I think it's fun. And I can't wait to, to open my mini trampoline and start jumping.
[00:18:23] A really good TV show that you'll love. It. Doesn't need to be something new here at home. We have just started rewatching the west wing for the, I don't know, 11th. We mean. Tend to every now and then go back to west wing, but there's so many great, well written well acted TV series to choose from these days. So find a good TV show or even a good movie and just lose yourself in it.
[00:18:51] For us here at home, we love art. We go to museums often. We love going to musicals and operas and, you know, watching it live is best, you know, concerts. It's such a great trait. And I know many of us are not able to do that during this pandemic times, but if you are, um, it's such a great investment, uh, in a couple of weeks time, we're going to go and watch Moulin Rouge.
[00:19:18] A new musical. I mean, everybody probably know the movie. It's such a great movie and we can't wait to see the musical here in Melbourne. And that will certainly be, you know, a great timeout for us. Driving driving can be horrible for some, I don't like driving. My husband loves driving and I love sitting next to him while he's driving.
[00:19:41] And we have done a great driving trip. Last year, we were away for three weeks driving around Australia. We're planning another driving trip and I, I find it when we're driving. We're certainly not thinking about work. And, um, we, like I said, I, we just got home from driving from my son's house. That was a.
[00:20:03] On a straight line. It would be 40 minutes, but we took us an hour cause we went very slowly and we did a sort of a. A relaxing drive and it was really lovely and we did so because it is a good time in the evening for us to unwind. Cooking cooking is great. I haven't been a great fan of cooking for relaxation, but I have, um, if you follow me on Instagram,
[00:20:29] You may have a saying that I've had some computer issues recently and because there was nothing I could do, but just wait for the system to reboot. I had to do a lot of cooking to keep myself busy. And not thinking about all the stuff that I had to do at work that I couldn't do because my stupid computer was giving me a hard time. So I caught a storm. I had come from a friend's farm and I had lots of huge zucchinis in the fridge. And I'm like, okay, let me do a lot of things with these zucchini soy.
[00:21:02] I did bread and muffins and. And, uh, frittatas and wow, it's all on my Instagram stories. It's a bit too late now, but follow me on Instagram. If you're keen to see what I do day to day. Gardening is also great. It's absolutely my best escape. Isn't now I have a very small garden, but in the past I had the huge garden and.
[00:21:25] I had a very stressful job. And I used to spend the entire weekend gardening and it was bliss for me. I just loved it so much. I had massive veggie. Gardening and a rose garden and it was a lot of work, but at the time it really did help me cope with some stressful working environments. And finally the best of all do absolutely nothing.
[00:21:54] I do bugger all, as they say here in Australia, just sit somewhere comfortably. And do nothing. I like doing that in the middle of the day. Um, around two to 3:00 PM. When I know that my energy levels are very low, I have very low blood pressure around this time. And. It's just the weirdest thing. My, I have low blood pressure anyway.
[00:22:19] But around this time, it's really low. And I have noticed that if I just, um, lay down and I take like a little siesta, a little beauty nap, I wake up so much more energized and I really think of nothing and find some sunny spot in the house. And lay down and take a bit of a map. 20 minutes will do for me.
[00:22:44] Nadia, and I did not mention housework. It did not mention de-cluttering or spring cleaning. I have found that these, um, activities are also great and have a purpose as well. Uh, for me, it, they really do help me de stress. When I have too many energy and I just want to scrub something many times, I have spent the weekend cleaning and washing for that reason, but I also have found that at times, doing too much of that means I'm miserable anyway. So I really need to just.
[00:23:18] Let everything go drop everything and have a good old time.
[00:23:24] You know, we should not have to discuss wind. You know, we should not have to distinguish the time we spend working from the time we spend doing other things. In a post-industrial world, post pandemic world looking forward into industry 4.0 5.0 and jobs of the future workers at home. Being useful and productive.
[00:23:50] Flexible with their time now more than ever is. Time for it to be accepted by employers, by society and by ourselves. We really may need to rethink our definitions of how we work, play, and rest. So don't be afraid of doing nothing. Don't judge yourself and don't let others judge. You. You know, this episode was inspired by a recent interview of the wonderful actress, Jennifer Coolidge at the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon. So if you haven't watched this recent episode with her, I will have a link to it in the.
[00:24:32] Um, the tonight shows YouTube channel for you to have a listen. It's about nine minutes long. If you don't know Jennifer Coolidge, she is, um, a great actress who has recently, uh, acted on. White Lotus, but she's also very famous from her. Um, casting in legally blonde and, you know, we love her so much.
[00:24:57] And in this episode, she's talking to Jimmy Fallon. She doesn't mention, you know, creative boredom. I just made the connection because she gives great examples. Of how her creative, either owners or board and, uh, Has done great things for her career and they are great examples. So see if you can spot them and then let me know, send me a message on social media or reply to my newsletter that I send out on Tuesday. I hope that you have.
[00:25:28] Um, subscribed already. If not, there will be a link in the episode. Show notes. All right, everyone. This is it for now. Um, don't forget to sign up to see me this week on the free job hunting master class. And if you can't be there live, you will have the link in the show notes and you will be able to watch it for a week after it's recorded on the first and 2nd of February.
[00:25:57] So be quick and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye.
